Another Intellectual Being

See How I Make Gold From Stuff

“After many adventures, dangers, and important life lessons Santiago finally reaches the Pyramids. His joy at finally being at journey’s end overwhelms him, and he is grateful that he got the chance to follow his dream.

He begins to dig deep into the sand looking for treasure, but before he can get far a pack of thieves’ shows up, beating and robbing him. They force him to continue digging, and then leave when no treasure is found. One of the thieves, as destiny would have it, tells Santiago an important clue and when they’re gone Santiago can’t help but laugh, because now he knows where his treasure truly lies.

It ends up being right back where his journey began, under the very tree where he had the prophetic dream years before. He digs and finds a beautiful chest full of gold and gems. His next and last journey will be back to the desert to be reunited with the woman he loves.”

The above is the summation of one of my favourite books, The Alchemist but frankly I think Santiago had it too easy for him.

Imagine a situation where a normal person is looking for waylaid treasure in distant lands. He has gone through hell and a lot worse to get there. Yet when he reaches the location of the treasure, the universe conspires to tell him that the treasure is back where he began his journey. What a load of bullshit.

If I were the protagonist of this very story I would have jumped out of the pages and strangles the writer in the temporal form of an ink creature.

Such a scenario in real life either leads to suicide or a case of severe complacency. Either he jumps off from the top of the Pyramid or goes home, digs up the treasure and never leaves his home ever after.

I know that if the writer ever came across this rant he would merely think as to how highly I think of myself but my dear Mr. Coelho it is not about my self esteem it is about your dogged lack of common sense. Yes I used the word dogged, yes I know it belongs to a different context but to write like this one has to be either clearly brainless or has to have a dogged determination to make a fool of himself to the world.

Now let’s see, how would I have ended this.

Oh boy, let’s begin.

*Having journeyed far and wide Santiago finally reached the pyramids in the heart of the desert. He feasts his eyes upon the exotic women and the sights that behold him. Not forgetting his reason for the journey he strides out to find the hidden treasure. He spends half and five days but is unable to find the treasure. However he does find a cold hard unseen rock.

The gods had tricked him he felt. They had used him for their amusement. Santiago marched back to the monastery to steal the Sorcerer’s Stone and reclaiming Fatima settles down in the land of the Pyramids and bountiful harmony.

Plenty years later Fatima finds that same cold rock and manages to drop it. It breaks and inside is a diamond worth the bounty of 20 pirate coves. Santiago buys a couple of Pyramids and lives happily ever after.*

P.S. – The pyramids become a sort of amusement park for him since he is obviously not dead.

Ha-ha. Laughing at my own inside joke. I seem to have gone delirious but frankly here’s what I feel and feel I do.

Signed,

Paulo Coelho

Archie Misra

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